Movie Review: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance * ½
Directed by: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor.
Written by: Scott M. Gimple & Seth Hoffman and David S. Goyer.
Starring: Nicolas Cage (Johnny Blaze / Ghost Rider), Violante Placido(Nadya), Ciarán Hinds (Roarke), Idris Elba (Moreau), Johnny Whitworth (Ray Carrigan), Fergus Riordan (Danny).

I am a Nicolas Cage fan, even though I have to admit that he makes far more awful movies than good ones. I remember a piece written by NYT Film Critic Manhola Dargis a few years ago, on the heels of Cage`s brilliant performance in Werner Herzog`s Bad Lieutenant::: Port of Call, New Orleans, where she essentially compared Cage to George Clooney – and said she preferred Cage. True, as she stated, Clooney is one of the most consistent actors out there right now – you can almost guarantee that anything Clooney is in is at least good, if not great. But Clooney could never do what Nicolas Cage does when Cage gets the right role. The problem is that Cage doesn’t get the right role very often, and yet he insists on making numerous movies every year. In 2011, he made three films – including Trespass and Season of the Witch, which both made my bottom 10 list of the year, alongside Drive Angry, which was one of my favorite guilty pleasures. When Cage is on – like in Leaving Las Vegas, Adaptation, Lord of War, The Weatherman, Face/Off and the aforementioned Bad Lieutenant there are few actors better than Nicolas Cage – and not only that, you cannot imagine another actor in their roles. But sweet Jesus, when Cage is in a bad movie, he can be absolutely God Awful. He throws himself full tilt into every role, even the ones he shouldn’t.

All of which brings me to Cages most recent film, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. The first Ghost Rider was silly and ridiculous in the extreme, and wasn’t very good, but was at least an interesting time waster, the sequel isn’t even that. Cage is once again Johnny Blaze, who made a deal with the Devil for his father’s life, and now transforms into the Ghost Rider, a demon who devours the wicked souls of the world. After the first movie, Johnny has decided to hide out in a bombed out town in Eastern Europe and control his curse. That is when Moreau (Idris Elba) shows up with an offer – there is a young boy, Danny (Fergus Riordan), who for some reason is about to become the anti-Christ because of a prophecy, unless Moreau and his ancient religious group, can protect him. Unfortunately the kid has fallen into the hands of Ray Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth), an ex of Dannys mother Nadya (Violante Placido), who has been hired by Satan (Ciaran Hinds), to bring him the child. If Johnny will use the Riders powers to track down the kid and help protect him, then somehow Moreaus group will help life Johnny curse.

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who are without a doubt the worst directing duo out there right now. Their two Crank films were two of the absolute worst films of the last decade, and whose Gamer was forgettable other than a strange dance sequence with Michael C. Hall. They seem to want to be the next Michael Bay, but no matter how bad Michael Bay can be, he has never approached the type of ineptitude on display in Neveldine and Taylors films. Here, not only do the use the Bay-esque shaky camera and rapid fire editing, but they go so far over the top with some of their stylistics that you cannot help but role your eyes.

I find it hard to criticize a movie about a guy with a flaming skill sucking the souls out of people as a having a preposterous, because really, even a good movie with this basic outline would be preposterous. And yet, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance does this one worse – its plot is boring and not very well thought out. If you’re going to make an over the top comic book, than fully embrace that, and this movie never really does that. The characters, outside of Cage, are never really thought through or interesting in the least – even though they cast some good actors in the roles. But why cast Ciaran Hinds, who could play Satan with delicious glee or menace, and make him so damn boring. It makes no sense.

As for Cage himself, he does what he always does, which is go way over the top, and embrace the loony, zany dialogue he is given. Cage has no off switch, and even in a horrible movie like this, he really does seem to be given it his all. Yes, he is awful, but how could he have played this role any better. It is an impossible role. Cage has a unique gift but far too often, he puts it to use in horrible films. If he was more selective in his roles, his reputation would be much, much better.

Movie Review: Gamer

Gamer * ½
Directed By: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor.

Written By: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor.

Starring: Gerard Butler (Kable), Amber Valletta (Angie), Michael C. Hall (Ken Castle), Kyra Sedgwick (Gina Parker Smith), Logan Lerman (Simon), Alison Lohman (Trace), Terry Crews (Hackman), Ramsey Moore (Gorge), Ludacris (Humanz Brother), Aaron Yoo (Humanz Dude), John Leguizamo (Prisoner).

With Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage, directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor established themselves as two of the loudest, stupidest filmmakers in the world. Those two movies were shot and edited at lightning speed, the camera never resting, never focusing on anything for longer than a split second, as the “hero” moved from one violent encounter to the next. Both films looked like they were shot by a team of meth addicted monkeys, and made the films of Michael Bay look tame by comparison. Inexplicably, both films were rather well received critically - I seemed to be the only one bothered by the rampant misogyny, racism and homophobia on display in the film.

So to say that Gamer is far and away their best film yet is to damn the film with faint praise. The films visual look is the same as the previous films - the film is non stop action pretty much from the opening credits to the closing credits. The editing and cinematography still move way too quickly, still make it impossible for the audience to ever orient itself to the action, and never gives us a chance to focus on any one character for any period of time. But perhaps because the film moves so quickly from one scene to another, this time around, they never really have time to be overtly misogynistic or racist - that would require a conversation of some sort, and this movie doesn’t do conversations.

Gerald Butler stars as Kable, a death row inmate who has been given a chance for freedom. By signing up for a Pay Per View Show Slayers, which has death row inmates compete in a real life video game environment, and being controlled by players who tells them what to do and when, he has given himself a chance to get released. All he has to do is survive 30 battles, and he’s out. He is only three battles remaining. The game is the brainchild of eccentric genius Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall), who started with a “game” called Society, which allowed regular people to control others in a real life environment - making them have sex or really do just about anything else imaginable. Kable’s wife, Angie (Amber Valletta) has had her daughter taken away from her since her husband was sent to death row, and is now stuck making a living being one of the mindless drones in Society, being controlled during her shifts by a huge overweight shut-in, who spends his entire life watching his bank of TV screens and sweating.

Of course there is a group of concerned citizens who object to Castle and his games. They call themselves Humanz, and they are led by Ludacris, and they hack into the sites and TV shows to make their points known to the world. No one seems to care.

If there is a reason to see the film, it is Michael C. Hall’s seriously demented performance as Castle. Hall, the best actor on TV right now (please give the man an Emmy this year for his brilliant work on Dexter) seems to know he is in an absolutely ridiculous movie, and has decided to fully embrace the madness. Speaking in a strange, unidentifiable Southern accent, and speaking mainly in weird stream of consciousness sentences, we never know what the hell he’s going to do next. There is a scene of absolute genius late in the film where Hall does a strange song and dance number to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” that is absolutely brilliant.

But that really is the only reason why Gamer is of any value at all. The rest of the movie is one violent scene after another, as Butler has to fight his way through a seemingly endless army of nameless, faceless “bad guys”. Controlled by a 17 year old kid named Simon (Logan Lerman), who looks oddly like Zac Efron, he wants to be set loose, because he knows that Castle does not want him to actually win - he knows too much to be allowed to talk.

Butler has never really impressed me as an actor, but it must be said that here he does just about as good of a job as is humanly possible. What is required of him here is not his acting ability, but his willingness to get the crap kicked out of him in every scene, and keep on ticking. There is a scene in this film where he wants to get gas into a car, so he can take off, so he gets drunk, and vomits and pisses in the gas tank to give the car enough ethanol to run. It’s that kind of logic that runs through the movie.

Gamer is a movie that just never stops. It just keeps sprinting from one scene to the next, regardless of whether or not any of it actually makes sense. I must admit that the film is never boring, but it is never really involving either. The experience of watching the film is like watching someone else play a video game. Sure, all the flashes and bangs are entertaining for while, but sooner or later you want to get involved.

Movie Review: Crank: High Voltage

Crank: High Voltage no stars
Directed by: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor.
Written By: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor.
Starring: Jason Statham (Chev Chelios), Amy Smart (Eve), Dwight Yoakam (Doc Miles), Efren Ramirez (Venus), Reno Wilson (Orlando), Keone Young (Don Kim), Art Hsu (Johnny Vang), Joseph Julian Soria (Chico), Ling Bai (Ria), Clifton Collins Jr. (El Huron), David Carradine (Poon Dong), Corey Haim (Randy), Geri Halliwell (Karen Chelios), Billy Unger (Young Chev).

I almost feel like simply reprinting the review I wrote for the original Crank in 2006 rather than wasting time writing a new review for its sequel, as this is essentially the same damn film as the first one. The lone exception being what is going our “hero” Chev Chelios. In the original film, he needed to keep the adrenaline pumping or risk dying. In this film, he needs to keep his body electrified at all times or his artificial heart will stop beating. He needs to do this until he can get back his real heart from some rather nasty characters, and then hope that his low rent doctor (Dwight Yoakam) can put his heart back in.

Now, I could call the film ludicrous, but then what would be the point of that? The filmmakers know that their film in no way resembles reality – and are in fact proud of that. And certainly, when we’re dealing with action films, reality isn’t really, and shouldn’t really, be a concern. Some of the best action movies ever are just as crazily unbelievable as this movie. Besides, that’s not the reason why I hate the Crank movies.

I hate the Crank movies because they are such hateful films. They are films that trade on the basest, most offensive of stereotypes. Like the original film, in the sequel we are treated to mindless, simplistic stereotypes about Latino gangsters, black gangsters, Chinese gangsters, not to mention women and gay people. What are we to make of a scene where in order to provide Chev’s body with friction, thus generating static electricity, his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), strips down and fucks him, in many different positions, in the middle of a race track as the horses jump over their writing bodies? Smart, a good looking, somewhat talented actress, spends almost the entire movie topless – we are introduced to her as she grinds away on a stripper pole, and perhaps that’s her most flattering scene. In the original film, she allowed herself to be bent over a mailbox and screwed on a crowded street in Chinatown as the audience cheered. This film takes its misogyny to an entirely new level.

But I think that’s exactly what the filmmakers wanted to do. At every step along the way in Crank: High Voltage, they seem to be trying to outdo the original. If anything, this film is even more rapidly cut, even more incoherent. It’s even louder and dumber than the original. What I don’t get is why so many critics seem to fall for this crap. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the film has 70% positive reviews. What the hell were these critics watching? What I saw was vile and disgusting. It’s doesn’t matter if the movie is so over the top you cannot take it seriously, I just don’t really find anything in this movie worth praising. I suppose one has to give the filmmakers credit for so closely sticking to their “vision”. This is certainly not a film where studio interference seems to have been a problem. I just couldn’t help but sit in the theater and wonder what making the film was like for someone like Smart – who is so clearly just used as a piece of meat in the movie, and is little more than just tits and ass to the audience. When she was naked and grinding away on top on Jason Statham in front of that crowd, did she realize just how little the filmmakers respected her? For all the talk in the last few weeks about the misogyny in Observe and Report, no one has mentioned anything about it in Crank: High Voltage. Anna Faris maybe be playing a mindless slut in Observe and Report, but at least the filmmakers and Faris realize it – and are merciless in their portrayal of a certain type of woman. I think that everyone involved with Crank: High Voltage – and the critics who have praised it – just think of it all as mindless fun. And I find that disgusting.