Movie Review: V/H/S 2

V/H/S 2
Directed by: Simon Barrett (Tape 49), Adam Wingard (Clinical Trials), Eduardo Sanchez & Gregg Hale (A Ride in he Park), Gareth Evans & Timo Tjahjanto (Safe Haven), Jason Eisener (Alien Abduction Slumber Party).
Written by: Simon Barrett (Tape 49), John Davies (Clinical Trials), Jamie Nash & Eduardo Sánchez (A Ride in the Park), Gareth Evans & Timo Tjahjanto (Safe Haven), Jason Eisener (Alien Abduction Slumber Party).
Starring: Kelsy Abbott, Hannah Al Rashid, Fachry Albar, Oka Antara, Devon Brookshire, Samantha Gracie, L.C. Holt, Hannah Hughes, Clarissa, Kevin Hunt, Epy Kusnandar, Lawrence Michael Levine, Carly Robell, Mindy Robinson, Jay Saunders, Jeremie Saunders, Andrew Suleiman, Adam Wingard, John T. Woods.

Last year’s VHS was a nasty little surprise – a horror anthology that actually worked. It featured five shorts – two of which were great, one was very good, one was good and one was awful, to go with an average framing device (an excellent batting average for this type of film). The film used the found footage genre in new and interesting ways – and was also quite scary and disturbing. The film was successful enough on its limited budget to warrant a sequel – but for me, it doesn’t come close to matching the original. The first film had a remarkable consistency in its tone – all violent, nasty little films – and I suppose V/H/S 2 does as well for the most part – but this time the mood is lighter, there’s far more black comedy and over the top gore than the first time around. There is one excellent section to go along with three mediocre ones, and a framing device that may not be any better than the first film, but at least is shorter. When I watched the original VHS, I started out watching in the dark, and slowly turned all the lights in my house on as it went along. This time, I wasn’t scared in the least at any point.

The framing device this time is about a P.I. and his assistant who have been hired by a worried mother to find her college age son. They go to his house, and don’t find him, but do find his laptop open cued to a video of him talking about the “tapes” – which the assistant then starts to watch. The wraparound’s surprise ending wouldn’t have been a surprise if she had just watched his whole video from the start, but then that would spoil the fun, right? This segment is directed by Simon Barrett, who wrote two of the segments for the last film but hadn’t directed a feature before, probably because no one else wanted to direct the wraparound segment. It’s probably better than the wraparound from the first film, but only because it doesn’t drag on as long.

The first real segment is directed by Adam Wingard, who made the wraparound segment of the first film, so as a reward was given a chance to direct an actual segment this time. Wingard’s segment of the horrible omnibus horror film The ABCs of Death (Q is for Quack) was one of that film’s best – and I pretty much loved You’re Next, released after two years in limbo, in August. Wingard’s segment here – which he also stars in – is about a man who gets an eye transplant – with predictably horrible results. As with Q is for Quack, Wingard tries for a darkly comedic tone in this segment to go along with the horror, but the two don’t mix very well this time – and other than a few superficial shocks, there isn’t much here. It’s not horrible, just not very good either.

Next up is Gregg Hale and Eduardo Sanchez’s A Ride in the Park, which is about a young man who goes for a bike ride in the park, and is set upon by zombies. Zombies are over exposed right now, so if you’re going to do a zombie film, at least come up with an original way to do them – and this one doesn’t. Again, the tone is lighter, and never scary, but considering Sanchez is one of the directors behind The Blair Witch Project – which for better or worse is responsible for this found footage genre that is hot right now – the results are disappointingly bland.

By far the longest – and best segment – comes next. Gareth Evans (who directed last year’s excellent action film The Raid: Redemption) who teams up with Timo Tjahjanto (who made an awful segment for The ABC’s of Death) to make their extremely disturbing and creepy segment Safe Haven. It starts with a documentary crew filming a cult on their compound, and the film gradually increases the sense of impending doom, until it explodes with some of the best and most disturbing moments of the VHS series so far. True, the ending was weak, but everything up until then was pretty much brilliant.

The segment I was dreading closes the film – Jason Eisener’s Alien Abduction Slumber Party. Eisener is the man behind the absolutely terrible film Hobo with a Shotgun, and another of the worst segments of The ABC’s of Death, so I was just hoping the segment would be over quickly. But to my surprise, it wasn’t horrible. Eisener is clearly trying to tap into those 1980s movies about a group of renegade kids – like say, The Goonies – only this time, it’s about a sleepover that takes a scary turn when aliens arrive (hence the title). The segment really isn’t good – out of all of the segments, this one boasts the most shaky camera work – but it’s not that bad either – easily the best thing Eisener has been responsible for so far.

V/H/S 2 is not as good as the original. Sorry, but it’s true, and I’m kind of mystified that many critics seem to think it’s much better. Other than Safe Haven, there really isn’t anything great here – although to be fair, there isn’t anything god awful either. And I did appreciate the clever ways the filmmakers chose to film their “found footage” films this time – Wingard literally through his eye, Hale and Sanchez through a camera strapped to a bike helmet, Eisener by a camera strapped to a small dog. Still, the most traditional one – Safe Haven, through the eye of a documentarian’s camera – remains the best.

It’s a generally accepted rule that omnibus film are always better in theory than they are in practice. Quick – name a great omnibus film. I don’t think there is one that is great all the way through. Most are like New York Stories, which has one great segment (in that case by Scorsese), one horrible segment (Coppola) and one mediocre (Allen). V/H/S is actually one of the best I can think of – but perhaps what V/H/S 2 proves is that was an anomaly more than anything else – because this film, like most of its ilk, has one segment worth watching, surrounded by mediocrity.

Movie Review: The ABCs of Death

The ABCs of Death
Directed by: Nacho Vigalondo (A Is for Apocalypse) , Adrián García Bogliano (B Is for Bigfoot), Ernesto Díaz Espinoza (C is for Cycle), Marcel Sarmiento (D Is for Dogfight), Angela Bettis (E is for Exterminate), Noboru Iguchi (F is for Fart), Andrew Traucki (G is for Gravity), Thomas Cappelen Malling (H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion), Jorge Michel Grau (I is for Ingrown), Yudai Yamaguchi (J is for Jidai-geki), Anders Morgenthaler (K is for Klutz), Timo Tjahjanto (L is for Libido), Ti West (M Is for Miscarriage), Banjong Pisanthanakun (N is for Nuptials), Bruno Forzani & Hélène Cattet (O is for Orgasm), Simon Rumley (P Is for Pressure), Adam Wingard (Q Is for Quack), Srdjan Spasojevic (R Is for Removed), Jake West (S is for Speed), Lee Hardcastle (T Is for Toilet), Ben Wheatley (U Is for Unearthed), Kaare Andrews (V is for Vagitus), Jon Schnepp (W is for WTF?), Xavier Gens (X Is for XXL), Jason Eisener (Y Is for Youngbuck), Yoshihiro Nishimura (Z is for Zetsumetsu).
Written by: Kaare Andrews, Simon Barrett, Hélène Cattet, Bruno Forzani, Adrián García Bogliano, Lee Hardcastle, Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura, Simon Rumley, Jon Schnepp, Srdjan Spasojevic, Nacho Vigalondo, Dimitrije Vojnov, Ti West, Yudai Yamaguchi.
Featuring: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Erik Aude, Kyra Zagorsky, Lainey, Iván González, Dallas Malloy, Sarah Bonrepaux, Lee Hardcastle, Fraser Corbett, Peter Pedrero, Darenzia, Arisa Nakamura, Yoshie, Hiroko Yashiki, Lucy Clements, M@tch, Yui Murata, Je$$ica, Harold Torres, Matías Oviedo, Alejandra Urdiaín, Takashi Nishina, Chems Dahmani, Vanja Lazin, Eva Llorach, Demo Tanaka, Greg De Cuir, Hiroaki Murakami, Tsuyoshi Kazuno, Pablo Guisa Koestinger, Miguel Insua, Arata Yamanaka, Martine Årnes Sørensen, Sadashi Matsubayashi, Manon Beuchot, Brenden McVeigh, Daisuke Sasaki, Kurumi Ochiai, Hozake Yamada, Xavier Magot, Seminosuke Murasugi, Joshua Diolosa, Juanita Ringeling, Tomomi Sugai, Honoka Murakami, Naoko Takahashi, Greta Martinez, Katsuyuki Miyake, Atsushi Hiroki, Yoshio Komatsu, Kim Richardson.

When you have a film that is just over two hours long, and contains 26 short films about death, I’m not sure how I can go about reviewing the film without it sounding like a hit list – running down the films that work, the films that don’t, and those who fall in the middle. So perhaps it’s lucky for me that the vast majority of the short films in The ABCs of Death are absolute crap – because then it’s easier to pass judgment on the movie as a whole – it sucks. True, there are some interesting shorts, some funny shorts, but none of them are the least bit scary – disappointing for a supposed horror film. And none of them are truly great either. While the idea of the omnibus film is almost always better in theory than it practice, most of them contain one or two truly terrific segments to justify watching the movie as a whole. Not so with The ABCs of Death. I have a feeling that even the best sequences in The ABCs of Death simply look better because of the crap they sit alongside.

The basic concept behind the film is simple. 26 filmmakers are given a letter, and then have to come up with a word, and then get about five minutes to make a short film about death using that word. The movie doesn’t tell you the director or the title of any one film until it ends – then we get the title like “A is for Apocalypse” or “D if for Dogfight” and the director. The 26 filmmakers picked come from around the world – although unless I’m mistaken the Middle East and Africa aren’t represented. For the most part, I hadn’t heard of the filmmakers before seeing this film – and I’m not sure I’ll ever watch another film by most of these filmmakers.

So, let’s rundown the title real quick. The films that work:  D is for Dogfight by Marcel Sarmiento, a disturbing, violent film, wordless film that shows far more promise than the director’s god-awful feature Dead Girl. N is for Nuptials by Banjong Pisanthakun, a funny film about a man, his girlfriend and a parrot that turns deadly. O is for Orgasm by Bruno Forzani and Helene Cattet, which is an almost avant-garde little film. Q is for Quack by Adam Wingard, which is essentially about Wingard complaining how he got stuck with the letter Q. R is for Removed by Srdjan Spasojevic, a disturbingly graphic film, that I have no idea what it means, but I will not soon forget. U is for Unearthed by Ben Wheatley, a POV of a man being chased by an angry mob. Best of all is probably Xavier Gens X is for XXL, easily the most disturbing and bloody of the lot.

The films that are terrible include: E is for Exterminate by horror mainstay Angela Bettis, which is simply ridiculous and cheesy. J is for Jidai-geki by Yudai Yamaguchi about a samurai executioner and funny faces. K is for Klutz by Anders Morgenthaler, about a turd that will not be flushed.  P is for Pressure, which takes one ridiculous turn after another. T is for Toilet, a stop motion animated film that doesn’t work on any level.

Somewhere in between are: A is for Apocalypse by Nacho Vigalondo, about a woman attacking the man she was poisoning for months because with what is going outside time has run out. B is for Bigfoot by Adrian Garcia Bogliano, which plays like one of those scary stories we tell kids, because that’s precisely what it is. C is for Cycle by Ernesto Diaz Espinoza, which even at only five minutes starts to repeat itself too soon. G is for Gravity by Andrew Trauki, a POV of a surfer’s last ride. I is for Ingrown by Jorge Michel Grau, which is a somewhat disturbing look at a serial killer and his victim. S is for Speed, a play on exploitation films, with a horrible ending. W is for WTF? By Jon Scnepp, which at least lives up to its name.

And then there are the following films, which are quite simply an absolute embarrassment for all involved. F is for Fart by Noboru Iguchi, which is even more disgusting and ridiculous than the unpromising title. H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion by Thomas Cappelen Malling with people dressed as giant dogs that somehow also involves Nazis. L is for Libido by Timo Tjahjanto about a ridiculous and disgusting competition. M is for Miscarriage by Ti West, who normally I love, but whose film is simply the laziest of the bunch. V is for Vagitus by Kaare Andrews, which kind of played like SNL’s Laser Cats. Y is for Youngbuck by Jason Eisener, who after Hobo with a Shotgun, once again proves why he should never be allowed to direct again. And finally, Z is for Zetsumetsu, which would be offensive if it weren’t so utterly, completely ridiculous.

So, for those you keeping track at home, that is 7 decent films, 6 that are not good, but not horrible, 4 terrible films, and 9 complete embarrassments. That’s not a good average. If there’s a lesson to be learned from The ABCs of Death it’s that omnibus films are almost never a good idea, that trying to squeeze too many into a 2 hour running time is an even worse idea, and that perhaps giving directors “complete artistic freedom” as the prologue states is a bad idea, since when you do, they often come up with complete shit. I doubt I will see a worse film than some of the entries in this omnibus film all year – and the decent chapters cannot save this from being a complete waste of time.

Movie Review: Hobo with a Shotgun

Hobo with a Shotgun no stars

Directed by: Jason Eisener.

Written by: John Davies & Jason Eisener & Rob Cotteril.

Starring: Rutger Hauer (Hobo), Gregory Smith (Slick), Molly Dunsworth (Abby), Brian Downey (Drake)), Nick Bateman (Ivan / RIP), Jeremy Akerman (Chief Wakeum).

This is most likely going to sound strange coming for the guy who in recent months gave positive reviews to Machete and Drive Angry, but I found Hobo with a Shotgun to be a thoroughly reprehensible movie. All three films have a similar goal in mind – to pay homage to the exploitation films of the 1970s, with a knowing wink and nudge to the audience. But while Machete and Drive Angry had a sense of fun – a tone that was so brazenly over the top that you could just sit back and enjoy the ride, Hobo with a Shotgun seems to revel in the way it wallows in the filth and blood on display in the movie. Despite my better judgment, I had a good time watching Machete and Drive Angry. Coming out of Hobo with a Shotgun, I felt I needed a shower.

Co-written and directed by Canadian Jason Eisener, Hobo with a Shotgun secured funding after winning a contest used to promote Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. The contest was to create a trailer, like the ones seen in Grindhouse, for the same type of film. If you saw Grindhouse in theaters in Canada, you actually saw this trailer as part of that film. With an actual budget behind him, Eisener used it to secure Rutger Hauer to play the Hobo in the feature version.

From the first scene in Hobo with a Shotgun, I was pretty sure I was going to hate the movie. We see the Hobo coming into town, and walking the streets on the inner city, seeing crime all around him, a man with a camera staging bum fights, and then witnesses a horrific murder. The town is run by a criminal named The Drake (Brian Downey), and his two sadistic sons – Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Bateman). The Hobo, along with many of the residents, watch as these three run down an associate, put is head through a modern day version of the stocks – the size of a sewer grate, put the man in an actual sewer, tie a barb wire noose around his neck, attach the other end to a car, and then rip his head off. Oh, and after that happens, and the geysers of blood coming pouring out of his neck, a scantily clad woman dances in the blood. Good times.

The movie devolves from there, becoming a series of bloody confrontations, until the Hobo can no longer take it, and buys a shotgun and delivers justice “one shell at a time” as the tagline of the movie helpfully informs us. He also befriends a prostitute named Abbey (Molly Dunsworth) and talks a lot about bears. One scene of bloodletting leads to another, until we finally get to the even bloodier climax.

Eisener takes great pains in trying to make us view the Hobo as a real person. He has a dream to start his own lawn mowing business, and has been saving up to buy the lawnmower of his dreams. When he cannot take it anymore, he gives up his dream and buys a shotgun instead. Hauer, who in recent years has actually done some decent work – mostly in small roles in films like Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Sin City and Batman Begins – also, takes the role very seriously. He does nothing to take the edge off all of the violence, the way Cage did in Drive Angry or Trejo did in Machete. Instead, we just have to sit and watch it all.

As a movie, Hobo with a Shotgun probably most resembles an actual 1970s exploitation movie in terms of it visual look than anything in the recent wave of homages to the genre. But I don’t think that’s a good thing. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are both better directors than the 1970s filmmakers whose work they admire so, so when they had their hand at directing these in Grindhouse, they made films that were infinitely better than the originals could ever hope to be. But Eisener doesn’t have that skill – or at least he doesn’t show it. Shot in extremely fake looking Technicolor, with horrid camera work and editing, Hobo with a Shotgun acts as a reminder that most of those exploitation films in the 1970s were damn near unwatchable. He pays homage to the same filmmakers that Rodriguez and Tarantino did, but lacks their wit and style. Instead, we get an ugly looking movie, about ugly people, doing terrible things. What’s the damn point in that?

I’m sure that Hobo with a Shotgun will grow into a cult movie. Films like this always seem to have a following among a certain, small percentage of the filmgoers. And if it’s your thing, that by all means, revel in it. I for one, found the movie to be the worst film I’ve seen in a theater in years